Finding My Somewhere

place for meSometimes I feel out of place. Sometimes I don’t feel like I belong. Sometimes I feel like the odd-man-out. Sometimes I feel lonely in a crowd. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one. Sometimes I feel my voice isn’t heard. Sometimes I feel lost. Sometimes I feel nothing at all.

I want to know what it is like to learn, grow, and flourish while being comfortable in my own skin. When I was younger (before senior year of high school) I was so bold and sure of myself. Then, like a flip of a switch, I wasn’t inside and out. I could still talk the talk on the outside, but on the inside I was falling apart and so insecure.

To this day I am like that. Just a few weeks ago, I was talking to this guy and at one point he said I talked to much and it got annoying. Of course there were other negative things said, but when I was telling my friend about it, I told her what he said, but then I followed up with “I don’t care, because I love myself a little too much”. The fact was that as much as I do love myself and all of my quirks, I did care what he said. I shouldn’t, but what if that is my hindrance to be in a relationship.

I didn’t appreciate the fact that he was trying to make me feel uncomfortable about my personality. My blunt, talkative demeanor is something that I define myself by and he was compromising that shell. Sadly, he was a co-worker, so for the few days after that we worked together, I no longer felt at ease at work. Being at work had always been a place that I could be me and others appreciated it, but with his condescending attitude there, it became a place I no longer wanted to be.

My ‘somewhere’ isn’t just a physical destination (although I can’t wait to find somewhere to settle down that I can call my future), but also a mental one. A place of comfort with my friends, my choices, my body, and my personality. A place where being me is something to be proud of instead of something to be questioned. I know my ‘somewhere’ is out there and I am going to find it.

❤ a girl

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3 thoughts on “Finding My Somewhere

  1. All it takes is one person’s misguided comment to make anyone anxious about something that’s not worth worrying about. I know it’s easier said than done, but believe that there are always people out there who can find flaws if they want, but there are always other people out there who never notice those things—or don’t care at all because they don’t consider them “flaws” by any definition of the word! Great post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are absolutely right. I need to work on not letting other people’s words affect me. I take everything to heart even though it isn’t worth it. You make me feel like I can do anything. 🙂

      Like

  2. Pingback: Sophomore Year // Week 6 | Little Miss Unsure

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