Sometimes we like to stick people into these different boxes based on personality type. We like to have a box for sensitive people and a box for blunt people. There are others, but those are the two I want to focus on. We stick people in these boxes and then when the lines blur, we get frustrated, confused, and irritated. We don’t stop to think that some people can be both.
I am both. I am blunt, yet sensitive. I am outspoken when it comes to my thoughts about ideas, views, and other people, but I am sensitive when it comes to me. I am fully aware that this is a double-standard, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is how I am. [It’s like how I like people to have their “read receipts” on, yet I keep mine turned off.]
Over the weekend, I went bridesmaid dress shopping. Shopping in general is not my favorite thing. Shopping for dresses is not my favorite thing. Shopping with others is not my favorite thing. So this was like a triple-whammy, but it turned out to be better than I was anticipating. Once we picked the dress, we took a group picture with it. One of the girls posted the picture to Instagram. The next morning I wake up to someone who I care about and is close to me having posted a comment expressing how my smile was ‘fake’.
Everyone can talk about sticks and stones all they want, but words hurt. These words hurt me, because that smile wasn’t fake, but very genuine. I was happy for my friend who is getting married and I was happy that we picked a dress in under an hour, plus it was kind of cute. I was hurt me, because this person didn’t even ask me about that day or how I was feeling or if I like the dress, they just put out there for everyone to see and contemplate that maybe Lauren was faking it or lying about her thoughts on the dress.
I probably overreacted a little, but I just didn’t understand how someone could be so careless. After reading that, I questioned my smile all day. I felt so self-conscious about it and about how people were perceiving me. When I talked to my mom about it, she just said that that person is outspoken and doesn’t always think before they speak. I understood where she was coming from, but I didn’t think that justified that person’s actions.
I am an blunt person, therefore that person probably didn’t think I would care, but I am also sensitive when it comes to people making assumptions and saying things about me that they have no idea about. I wouldn’t have cared if that person had come to me first and asked about it, but instead they went around me- the subject of the hurtful comment.
The comment has since been taking down. I don’t know if the owner of the post or the writer of the comment took it down, but I am relieved it is not up there for debate anymore. Just take this as a reminder that people can fit into different boxes.
❤ a girl