Your life does not get better by chance, but by change. – Jim Rohn
Originally, I created this blog to have an outlet. But if I am being honest with myself, a gesture that should have been positive, I turned into something negative. I was in a bad place with myself and very unhappy with who I was. I was using this blog as a way to connect with people (which is a good thing!), but instead of making friends who deal with things similar to me, I was looking to them for reassurance that it was okay to hate on myself, because everyone does it.
I decided this morning that it is not okay.
Being unsatisfied with myself is natural, because growing as a person is a slow process. Some days I will take two steps forward while others I will take one step back. All of these steps represent mistakes as well as wisdom. I need to remember to learn from the times I get down and to not just complain, but to actually take credit for my thoughts, feelings, and knowledge.
But just sticking up for what I think and for what I have done isn’t enough. I have to use it to learn for myself. I have to share it, so others can learn and understand what I am going through.
This past week I turned over a new leaf. I turned twenty. That officially means I am no longer a teenager. The saying ‘I’m a big girl now’ has never felt so real. But I am ready for the challenge of becoming a strong woman who is confident in herself. No more hiding or being embarrassed by who I am.
I am still just a girl.
A girl who is trying to figure out life and who she wants to be through taking chances and making mistakes. Instead of complaining about what I don’t understand and what doesn’t work out for me, I am going to focus on what I can learn and how I can move forward. I believe I can change my outlook, so that is what I am going to do.
I have decided to make a small step toward change. When I first created this blog, I dubbed myself Little Miss Unsure. Yes, I still am that girl, but I don’t want that to be who I am remembered by. I want to be remembered as a Precious Penny (damaged, tarnished, dirty, sometimes unlucky, but still worth something) in a world full of dimes.
❤ a girl
One thing I love to do is be a critic. Normally I focus on myself and those around me, but I am going to try and channel all the energy I spend ‘judging’ the people in my life into book/movie/music/show reviews. So keep an eye out for those.
I noticed last night that I have stopped taking pictures of moments in my life. I used to capture everything, but as I was going through my pictures, I realized that I barely have any from this school year. I think this may be a contributing factor to how I feel, because I have no way of going back to good times when I am feeling down. So be prepared to see more pictures, because I am going to try and be better at capturing smiles, laughter, and friends!