Are some people born to be alone?
Are some people born to be single?
There are days when I can be surrounded by people, but feel so unnoticed. There are days when all I want to do is participate in activities that don’t require interaction with others. There are days when crowds and compliments push me so far over the edge.
There are days when I think that I was meant to be alone and there is nothing I can do about it.
I am an introvert, so being alone doesn’t necessarily bother me, but when I think about the future, I can’t help, but assume it is just going to be me.
I like to read, watch TV, think, knit, scrapbook… these are all things that most people do alone. I am adamant about adopting my children… maybe I am so passionate about adoption, because it doesn’t require having a significant other. I’ve never been one to obsess over my future wedding… possibly because I don’t think I’ll ever have one.
Lately I feel that there are so many signs that maybe I was just made to be alone and single my entire life. Sure, I have friends, but at some point they have to go home, get their own lives, have their own kids. Of course I will happy for them, but I wonder where the difference between them and me is.
I am always told that there is someone out there for me. That I need to be patient. That I need to be confident. But do they realize that I have been alive for twenty years and I have been on one date, had one guy say that I was cute, and have had no boyfriends. I can’t help but wonder why? Why am I not worth it?
Sometimes I get frustrated with the people who have what I want tell me what I need to do to make it happen. It’s not like I do anything wrong. I love myself (for the most part). I am confident (for the most part). I have standards. I don’t live under a rock. I put myself out there (for the most part). But ever since I can remember I was just never that girl and now I feel that maybe I am just meant to be content in being alone.
Could this be true? Is this a bad thing? Can I change it?
❤ a girl