Being confident seems like a catch-22 sometimes.
My personality isn’t really a problem. That molds itself to whatever situation I find myself in and my sass can handle itself, but there are times when I am not confident with my physical self as I am with my mental self.
Let’s just get this straight: I am 5’1 (and a fourth). I am 97 pounds. I have A-cup breasts. I have no butt. My feet are a size 5 and a half.
Now there is nothing wrong with being a petite woman. I can embrace it for the most part and have been ever since I was very little and everyone started looking different than the stick that I am. But it can become difficult to keep that confidence and be proud of your body.
First, you can’t control what you look like. When we get down to it, the basis of what we look like has to do with genes. I have blue eyes and pale skin, plus I am short. Well my parents happen to look a lot like that.
Second, I happen to have a fast metabolism, so I get so frustrated when people tell me I need to “put meat on my bones”… hello! Do y’all just think I don’t feed myself, because I am actually quite the pig.
Third, it becomes an ordeal to see yourself as a beautiful woman and believe that somewhere out there a handsome boy will too, when everywhere I go I get mistaken for a child (as young as 12). I know I will “be grateful for this when I am older”, but honestly no one wants to be told this every day. Sometimes I just want someone to realize that I am, in fact, 20 years old.
Lastly, there is all this talk about body type. It has always been a thing that society tells all girls they need to be skinny and look like models, but I don’t think this is the case all the time. I am all for plus size models and more realistic looking manikins, but people need to understand that there is this fine line. Bigger girls are told they need to be smaller and smaller girls are told they need to be bigger, but there is no perfect size.
We have artists singing songs about how men like curvy girls and I appreciate that they are standing up for themselves, but I don’t feel like we have reached equality in this war between thin females and larger females. We are all beautiful and should lift each other up and encourage one another. We should be proud that we don’t all look the same. I am a skinny, curve-less girl by no choice of my own and I am tired of feeling self-conscious about it one day and ashamed the next.
This all came to me earlier when I was at a lingerie shower (which by the way I survived 😉 ). There were these cookies that one girl had made and they were all of these very voluptuous butts and breasts. It wasn’t a big deal, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is what society expects; big booty girls with breasts to match.
I don’t know why this has struck a chord in me, but I guess I am just tired of the endless hooplah about female body image. I am tired of hearing that society tells woman they should be thin, because I don’t think that is what society preaches anymore. I think society preaches that you should be “just right”, but there isn’t a just right. Depending on what body type you have is what dictates what society tells you. As a female I want to stop feeling inadequate just because I am a small and I want my friends to stop feeling inadequate because they are curvy, plump, or pear shaped.
We are all beautiful and perfect and if you wish to lose weight or tone your body then let that be up to you and not by the people around you.
❤ a girl
P.S. This whole “body pride” thing all started earlier when I was picking out what to wear to the shower. I chose this summer dress that was airy and had spaghetti straps. I realized that it looked super cute on me, but that no one else at the party could have pulled it off. At that moment I was so proud of my figure and decided to embrace my no butt, flat-chest body and work it to the best of my ability.