What Makes A Man

men 1

Happy Father’s Day to all of you amazing dad’s out there! We children wouldn’t be who we are without your guidance and love!

So this morning in church the lesson was on ‘What is a Real Man.” As soon as the pastor started speaking I was unsure as to where this sermon was going. I can assure you that about ten minutes in I was already shaking my head.

He decided to start out with what a real man is not. Now there were a few bullets that I agreed with like a real man doesn’t abandon his family or dominate women, but there was one bullet in particular that I was extremely irritated with. He said a real man doesn’t father a child out of marriage.

Now I know that I am sitting in church, so marriage is very important and that pre-marital sex is a sin, but even so this was so vague and so general that I didn’t feel it needed to be said. Men and women make mistakes all the time and getting a girl pregnant out of marriage (which it takes two to have a child, so he is not the only one at fault) is not the best way to start a family, but I think that what makes that man a real man is how he handles the situation he has gotten himself into.

Mistakes are part of life, but to act like just because someone has done this means they can’t turn their life around and become a real man is ridiculous. That man can choose to marry that woman and unite that family that he has started or if marriage isn’t what they want, he can be there for that kid in so many ways. Families are not as cut and dry as they used to be which is why that statement pissed me off a little (and I come from a cut and dry family!).

I don’t think the sermon was meant to be rude or thoughtless, but sometimes I feel like it needs to be edited and read to a few more people before said on Sunday morning. That statement could have been hurtful to a lot of men and families out there. From what I have been taught, God is all about taking negative or imperfect situations and creating something beautiful out of them, so I think the pastor needed to be a little more careful in what he puts out.

For all you men out there who aren’t perfect, don’t listen to people who tell you you can’t be a stand up guy. You can turn your life around and make the best of whatever situation you are in. That is what life is all about! I believe in you!

❤ a girl

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