Dear Jesse

Before you say anything just hear me out.

I know you have advised me to drop the subject, and I will, but I have to get this out.

What you did yesterday night really hurt me. I don’t know what you told Kayla; whether it was that ‘I wanted to talk to her’ or that ‘you told me that she told you that I showed her the text’ isn’t really the point… the point was that you said something to her in the first place and then decided to give her your phone to send me a message telling me ‘I don’t even care enough about you’.

I know everyone thinks I am some cold-hearted bitch, but I’m not. My heart is just as warm as the next person’s, so what people do and say does affect me. To learn that practically all of the people you thought liked you are secretly talking about you behind your back can really make a person feel alone. It made me feel alone.

I have had your back since I first started working at this restaurant when you were just an expo and everyone would tease and make fun of you. I would tell you that they are only doing this to you, because they know it bothers you and they can get a rise out of you. I had your back then and I have your back now and I would have hoped that as my friend you would stick up for me.

It would have been nice for one of my friends to tell them that they know I didn’t do it and that maybe we should actually talk to her about it.

Nobody is perfect and although I think I am pretty darn close, I’m far from it. Most people are normally dealing with stuff that they keep to themselves. I deal with feeling alone. That is something you couldn’t necessarily figure out by just knowing me on a surface level. It is for this reason that it is hard for me to ‘just drop it’ as you and others have told me.

I need to know if the conversations we have as friends are confidential. I need to know that if what I tell you will stay between us or be used as ammo the next time you want a good show or need a good piece of gossip. I accept that you love drama, but I would appreciate being left out of your games. I need to know if what I tell you will stay with you, because if it won’t then I need to start filtering what I say. We are friends and I vent to you for this reason, but I won’t if it has the possibility of being shared.

I would hope that as your friend I would receive more respect from you and I would get to see the better side of you.

❤ a girl

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