There have been a gazillion text messages, a good two handfuls of Skype chats, and various phone calls. I absolutely love getting to know him. We are very different, but very similar, so our conversations are never boring. I strongly believe that both of us could talk for hours on end to a brick wall, so needless to say, three hours doesn’t always cut it on everything I want to say. He always has stories and I always have rants. The stream of incoming information I want to share with him never seems to cease.
I have never done this before. This being seriously falling for someone, particularly someone who lives sixteen hours away from me. I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t know how to ask what exactly is going on. I don’t how to inquire about where this is going.
We have established the ‘I like you’ and ‘you like me’ part of this whole thing, but anything further then that… nothing. We talk about the future and he doesn’t seem to be planning to ditch me in a couple weeks, but I still wonder how this will go on, knowing that I want it to go on without an expiration date.
Last night, we were texting back and forth and being a bit flirty and I just put it out there. By it, I mean I asked him what we were going to do about this whole thing. It was totally out-of-the-blue and I hadn’t planned it, because I had wanted to do it on Skype, but it just sort of came out. He apologized and said that he really wanted to answer that question, but that he was not in the right frame of mind to answer a serious question. The worst part about getting bursts of courage is that I knew he wouldn’t be able to answer it. I felt terrible afterward and now I am even more on edge.
He promised to answer it today, so I have been all nervous and jittery. I feel awkward bringing it back up, like the moment passed or something, but I feel like we need to at least get on the same page about what we want.
Wish me luck!
❤ a girl