I have this friend and for awhile now I have referred to her as my obligatory friend. This sounds really mean, but I felt I was only her friend, because I had to be and if I would have met her now, I don’t think we would have gotten along. You see, our moms became friends at church when we were about a year old and so we did everything together when we were younger. Then as we got older we kind of grew apart. We were raised differently and were into different stuff. To start things off, I went to public school and she was home-schooled which was cause for me knowing things that she didn’t. For awhile it was just weird.
But we always stayed “friends”. I would come to her birthday parties and go spend time with her over the summer. She was always that friend that I could hang out with and drop a few notches in maturity without caring. She ended up moving to Oklahoma my senior year of high school, so I didn’t see her as often. Some people would say she went off the deep end and rebelled against what she had been taught, because she grew up in such a strict Christian home.
Well she has been through a lot in figuring out who she is and what she wants. Although she hadn’t always been forthcoming with information about these struggles, I still felt it was my duty to be her friend. She needed someone and no one else seemed to be there. I found out last night that she had moved back to Texas to live with her grandparents and I decided I needed to get in touch with her. I contact her mom to make sure the information was true and to get her current cell phone number.
I texted her a couple times asking if she wanted to get together today, but never received an answer. I decided to just go over there, because that it what I would want someone to do for me. I showed up at her house and she was still asleep. Her grandma let me in and walked to her room and entered without knocking. She slowly opened her eyes and I told her to get up, because we were going to lunch. She got around and then we left.
It blew my mind how people can be so different and be apart for so long, yet fall right back to where they were at some point. My friend, Kayla, never even questioned why I was there. I like to think it is because she knows I will always be there to pick her up and remind her she worth so much more than she gives herself credit for.
Our lunch was pleasant. She told me about some of her struggles, why she moved back, and what her plans were. We talked boys and swapped bad date stories. It was just so normal and I needed to be reminded that she is just a person searching for acceptance and love like the rest of us. We ended up stopping by a bookstore and sharing a few laughs and I realized that although we may dress and act differently, we still have a history of inside jokes and trust between the two of us and that isn’t going away.
I came away from this spontaneous afternoon understanding that any friendship is what you make it. You can have lots of friends or just a few, but the effort and time and trust that you put into it is what you are going to get out of it. I want to work harder at being a better friend.
❤ a girl