Until last night, I never realized there was a stigma placed on girls who are ok with long distance relationships. Even on girls who are “talking” to a guy who doesn’t live near them. That this was considered a negative thing.
Obviously, I realize that long distance is not for everyone. But to put all of the girls who are outwardly not against it into a box is wrong.
Last night I met up with a co-worker to give him my microwave, because he needed one for his dorm. He asked if we could meet up at Whataburger and grab a bite to eat. I was not opposed to this, because we were friends. He, on the other hand, was under the impression this was some kind of date, but I politely declined his offer to pay for me. Everything was normal at first; we were just talking about school and work, nothing out of the ordinary for a friendly conversation.
Then it took a turn into discussing how his faith reflected his lifestyle. That was strange, but not so weird until he decided to play the “you have no experience therefore you can have no opinion” card. After asking me how many boys I have dated, how many boys I have kissed, how many boys I… (you get the picture) well the answer was none to all of these questions. When he asked — are you currently talking to someone — and I said yes, he looked at little shocked and I grew a little reluctant to continue this conversation.
He wanted to know who and I said that he didn’t live around here and he laughed, actually laughed!, and proceeded to say that I was “one of those girls”. Excuse me, but what does that mean exactly? Well, according to him, girls who choose to pursue long distance relationships are shallow in the fact that they like guys who live far away, because these guys come across more perfect than guys who are in close proximity to them. That by not being able to see how they interact with those around them and inquire with others who know this person, the girl does not know his flaws or what others think, therefore he is more appealing.
Let me just stop and call bullshit on this entire thing!
I am still in shock that he had the audacity to say this to me, but I suppose I have to appreciate his opinion even if I disagree with him. Honestly, I understand his point, but I also don’t think that every girl thinks this way. I believe that every situation is different and you cannot lump them all together. I am also curious what his definition of “talking” or “relationship” is. I can truthfully say that I know plenty (if not most) of my guy’s flaws and hang-ups. We don’t just flirt back and forth or talk about pointless stuff; we ask hard, deep, and meaningful questions.
I was also shocked that he mentioned not knowing what others think. For me, I don’t care what others think. I am not pursuing a relationship with someone for other people, so what do their opinions have anything to do with it. You can’t judge a person based on someone else’s thoughts. If I like talking with him, if he makes me laugh, if he makes me feel special, if he listens to me, if I can see a future with us… then yes, eventually he will meet my family and friends, but their opinion does not determine my feelings and shouldn’t justify whether he is worth it in my eyes.
But plenty of people are in relationships with people in close proximity to them and they barely see or talk to them anyway… so it just depends on who you are as a person, who they are as a person, and what you are looking for. It definitely is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that everyone it is for should be judged.
❤ a girl