Heart to Heart

So Elephant and I are riding this roller-coaster called friendship and it has recently been taking some rapid turns, plunging dips, and maybe a loop or two. I am super sensitive and an over-analyzer, so when things start to change, well, I freak out!

Towards the end of last school year, Pay had made a few new friends who like to do things that I don’t. I didn’t think much of it, because I still knew wholeheartedly that I was her number one. Well over the summer she didn’t have me, because I had to go back home, so she started hanging out with them more and more. I didn’t even realize this until I came back to school and it was like we were just acquaintances. So of course I freaked out and had a meltdown about being replaced.

In the past few days I had calmed down about it and merely accepted what it was. Eventually things would work out or they wouldn’t. Luckily, things turned around rather quicker than I could have hoped. Yesterday, Elephant called me, but I was at work, so I couldn’t answer, but I sent her a text anyway. She responded saying she needed me. My heart and stomach literally did a flip flop. Maybe our friendship wasn’t as lost as I had thought. We conversed for a little while and she said she really needed to talk to me, because something had happened. So after work we met up, grabbed dinner, and it was like nothing had ever happened.

Her emergency was that she wants to break up with her boyfriend of six years. She hasn’t felt it was the right fit for awhile, but she just isn’t sure what to do or how to go about it, but she, in a drunken state, practically cheated on her boyfriend a few nights ago. She said she believes this is the last straw and that she wants to explore who she is without him. Of course, I encouraged her, because she doesn’t need to be stringing the poor guy along if she wants to explore herself and other guys. As she was telling me all of this, I realized we were right back to where we were and it was the best feeling ever.

We got to swap advice and stories and actually bond over some things. I got to really talk in depth about my guy and she got to tell me about the guy she likes and why. We discussed things that months ago I would not have been willing to talk about or been even ok with expressing. We are both in different places, but yet we are kind of at the same (it is hard to explain, but me being a virgin/never having been in a relationship before and her having always been in one, we are now at the same place, but not). This has really brought us closer and I was even able to explain to her how I was feeling about being replaced and we talked it out.

Although I know I need to learn to accept change, I will admit that it feels even better when minor change occurs, but in a better way than I could have hoped for. So I will continue to never give up on my friends!

❤ a girl