Never giving up is a difficult thing for me. In some situations I never want to let things go, but in others I so easily throw in the towel. It is a weird thing how I decide which way a situation is going to go, but lately I have wanted to just back out and watch my life from the outside.
I am kind of tired of making choices for myself. This may sound strange, but figuring out the right path to take has got me so stressed out! And ya I get that I am in college and everyone “goes through this”, but I am a junior now and have to decide a permanent path or I will be in school forever. I wouldn’t mind exploring different classes and stuff if I was paying for it myself, but my parents and other contributors pay for my college, so I feel I need to be dedicated to something.
I don’t think I have ever talked about my college education past, but basically it goes like this– psychology major–> social work major–> public relations major–> technical communication major–> who the heck knows! Picking something to study has always been a challenge for me. Everything just seems so interesting and fun until I am actually in the class and then I am just regret it and wonder what I got myself into. Why is it so hard for me to choose something that I enjoy and feel like it is worth it?
Anyway, after recognizing my issues and going to counseling this morning, I kind of feel like that would be a great path for me. I tried social work in the past, but it was just not what I was expecting. I wanted to be a light in someone’s life and help people, but it was just a bit too much. Now, I feel like I want to work with younger people like teenagers and early 20’s, because I feel like in ways I can relate to them and help them, because what I am going through myself. I have also realized that I enjoy finding solutions to other people’s problems and watching them regain their happiness– it makes me feel better to know that others are feeling good. I know that this profession wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, but I think it would worth it.
So that leads to lots of questions… what do I major in? Where do I get my Masters? Would I be able to handle a profession such as this? What are my next steps?
Between dealing with my struggles, schoolwork, and figuring out my future, I am more than a little stressed out. I am working on remembering to just breathe.
❤ a girl