When Only A Can Give You B

So  I know for awhile my mind was stuck on one thing… my guy.

He always seemed to infiltrate my thoughts whether I was feeling happy, frustrated, sappy, or confused. It was what I would post about, talk about, complain about. Not to mention, I tend to blow everything out of proportion so the good was great and the bad was awful. Well, thanks to a very special blogger friend who hit me head on with this reality, I was able to step backward and analyze this whole thing. Ya, I was a bit obnoxious. It was cute at first and then turned pathetic.

Well, he left at the end of September for Army Basic Training and things were a bit rickety before that and now things aren’t much of anything. I have tried not to mention it, because I don’t want to seem obsessed, but acting like I don’t think about it would be a lie. After coming forward about my depression, my thoughts are more spaced out when thinking about him and my emotions go up and down drastically.

I can go days without thinking about him and then all of a sudden it just all crashes down on me. Basically, he is still very special to me and I am not done with him, but the confusion is still there. Now all I can do is write him letters.

This is all well and good, because I was completely prepared to write, except that I don’t have his address. He told me a long time ago that I would have to contact his mom to get it and then he posted on Facebook that anyone who wanted to write just needed to message his mom. As awkward as that was going to be initially, because I have never met her, I bucked it up and send her a Facebook message asking politely for his mailing address.

Well it showed that she had read it, but a week has gone by and I never received a response, so I am still without a means to communicated with him. I have tried not to obsess or fret about it, but it has almost been 4 weeks since he left and I am wanting to talk to him. I am not going to deny that I miss him, plus I want to hear about how he is doing.

I don’t know whether the fact I have yet to be given his address is a simple oversight or something else altogether.  I can’t decide if I should send another nice message tomorrow re-requesting his address or give it some more time… the only problem with waiting is that soon it will be too late. He is only there for 10 weeks and being so far away, I don’t know how long it will take the letter to get there and for his response to get back here.

Yes, this may seem like a silly little problem, but I just need to get it off my chest and if anyone has any thoughts, please feel free to let me know.

❤ a girl