Let The Rain Wash Away

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

Starting today, North Texas is under a flash flood warning. They are expecting us to get 18 inches of rain in the next few hours and it is supposed to keep coming. As I sit at my balcony door and look out the window at the flood that is starting to gather, I can’t help smiling.

The past two days have been really good. I have been busy, but calm at the same time. I have gone to sleep without tears and have dreamed with hope. Just having good days doesn’t erase the disaster that was Monday, but seeing this rain reminds me that you can always wash your slate clean. It’s only stained if you want it to be.

so you can doubt
and you can hate
but I know, no matter what it takes

I am not perfect. I can’t be. This is hard to get through my thick skull. I make mistakes. I am human. But I also look up and look forward. I am going to beat this. Some doubt that I am trying. Some hate what I have done. Although that is a difficult truth to come to terms with, I am not going to let them hold me back. I will keep going and not look back.

I know my kingdom awaits
and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

No matter what I have done or lies I have believed, I know that I am not alone. My “kingdom” consists of people who support me and love me regardless of who or where I am. They forgive me and help point me in the right direction. To these people, I say thank you.

Still far away
from where I belong
but it’s always darkest
before the dawn

I won’t be “cured” from my sadness in a day. It is a long journey of learning to believe and love myself as well as having confidence in the truth than the lies I constantly dwell on. Having a bad today is just the prequel to the good day that tomorrow will bring. I just have to keep my head high and not let the doubt in until eventually the bad days slowly disappear.

❀ a girl

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