I started blogging back in the fall of 2013 when I went off to college. It was scary moving to a new state and being seven hours away from everything familiar to me. Instead of having an amazing experience like most who leave for college, I grew very sad and lonely, so I threw myself into reading. I would read all the time, so I was making my way through more books than ever before and I so desperately wanted someone to discuss them with. This led to The Bittersweet Bookworm; my first blog ever. It started as a book blog and then morphed into a just all around review blog.
Eventually I grew bored of it, but for no reason in particular. So I brainstormed what I wanted to do differently. I thought using a pseudonym would be more fun, so Passionate for Paperbacks, my next blog strictly dedicated to books, was created. Sadly, I lost interest in this blog only after two months. Having a strict book blog is hard work!
Throughout the last couple years, I have created multiple blogs for different things, but they all end up being the same thing. There was Footprints of an Opinionated Ginger, Oh! It’s Lo., Books & Bliss, and Escaping the Raincloud. But for some reason I am never satisfied.
This past February I was going through a hard time and really changing, so one night I just needed to vent to someone who didn’t know me personally, so Just a Precious Penny was born. I loved it and it has been my outlet ever since. I started out anonymous, but little by little I opened up by posting photos of myself and adding my name at some points. I was able to express myself without feeling judged. I wrote about my wavering faith, my friendships, my “making mistakes on purpose” phase, my fears, my insecurities, and my confusing relationship.
I have made some amazing friends through this blog and have grown so much. Through your support and encouragement, I no longer feel like the only person in the world who has these thoughts, feelings, and fears. BUT this blog is secret from my friends, family, and anyone who actually knows me in real life. I so desperately want to express my feelings with no shame to the people in my life, but there are posts on here that I don’t want them to see, but I also don’t want to delete them, because what I wrote on here was true and raw and a tribute to what I was feeling. In the past few months so much of this blog was dedicated to a certain someone I no longer want to think about, to my frustration, sadness, and confusion in relation to this situation. As silly as it sounds, I associate this space with that, so I am finding it hard to grow in my writing, because it is such a reminder.
I want a place that is all mine for growth, venting, truth, excitement, thoughts, feelings, opinions, creativity, and recollection.
So (yep, you guessed it lol!) I have created a new space for all of the above mentioned. It will be a blank space, clean slate, new canvas. I can start over. This new space won’t have any ties to the negativity that has bogged me down for so long. I want to begin again with a new mentality!
I don’t want to leave y’all behind, because I appreciate y’all so incredibly much and I love getting to know you, so I am going to continue to follow your journeys. If you can forgive me for all of the new blogs I create and leave, I would like very much to continue growing with you in my new space.
Beautifully Bowman is where I will be expressing myself publicly to my fellow bloggers, friends, family, and all people who know me. It will be a challenge and an adventure to convey my feelings and thoughts with confidence and without shame, but I am excited to begin!
I, Lauren Bowman, have been the girl identifying with each and every one of you. I started out as a girl struggling with self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth; I am still a girl who struggles, but I want to be a girl who struggles openly and confidently. I am a girl who can proudly say she isn’t perfect, but also that I don’t need to be. I am beautiful and strong with flaws, fears, and weaknesses that do not define me!
So I cannot wait to keep growing with y’all in my space that has yet to be tainted.