To Have and To Hold

Remember that guy I told y’all about at the beginning of this month? Remember how happy I was? Well… I am back to report that he is still by my side and I am still happy!

That guy’s name is Jeremiah and I wanted to do a post where I just expressed all he does for me and why I care about him so much… and that will come when I have more time, but there is something else that just happened that takes precedence over all.

You all know how I have my breakdowns (now more sporadic that before). Well Jeremiah knows they happen too, but hadn’t ever witnessed one. He had seen me upset, but never like this. Last night he was over at my house and we were just doing homework and chatting when I just lost it. I wasn’t planning on it, because we are still in that ‘trying to always show our best side’ stage although our true colors show more than we notice, but it happened nonetheless.

It was in this moment that if I had any farther to fall for him, I would have. Instead of acting as if he had never seen tears before or trying to cheer me up, he just caressed my head and wiped away my tears. I couldn’t stop even though I was willing myself to hold it together until he left, but it was as if my brain just knew I was right where I needed to be.

After I sobbed a little longer, he got up pulling me with him and opened my closet. He sat down and pulled me to him and just held me… against his chest, in the dark, in my spot. The fact that he wasn’t weirded out by me needing my closet for comfort just made my heart beat faster. We just sat in there for awhile until my tears stopped. He just spoke calmly to me while rubbing my back until I could breathe easy again. Then he encouraged me to leave the closet and try and work on homework.

He was completely natural and made me feel so safe! I feel so truly lucky to have him!!

❤ Lauren