Last Post

All things must come to an end at some point.

This time I am not talking about friendships, relationships, school, or attitudes, I am talking about this site. I know we have been here before. I need to move on. I am done, but this time it is for real.

I finally realize how my venting has come to hurt people that I care about very much. Talking about people is not okay especially when they don’t have consent and it is in a negative manner. Many people have been scarred by my words and that is not something I am proud of. What started as a way to make myself feel better turned into a way to hurt others and essentially make me a modern day cyber bully.

I wish I could have used this site for positive. I wish I could have not fallen into temptation of gossip and defamation. I wish I could have changed lives for the better instead of the worse. Even though this site helped me overcome so many things, I don’t want to continue, because I am tired of jeopardizing so much that I had worked so hard to build.

I may act as if things do not bother me. That friendships falling apart and relationships ending do not phase me, but they do. Through tears and heartache and hurt, I have decided to stop this malicious behavior. I can say all day long that that was not my intent, but that does not change the people who have already been hurt, but I can make a change now.

I am not going to continue writing if all I can do is bring people down in order to build myself up. I am confident through newly reacknowledged faith and positive influences, I can find a better outlet.

Thank you to all who have followed my journey. Thank you to the many friends I have made along the way. My sincerest apologies to all of those who I have hurt in this process. My sincerest apologies to all of those who I have offended and pushed away.

This is the end of A Precious Penny. For good.

❤ Lauren

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Being a Dog Mom

4 Months [1]

As some of you know, about two months ago, I became a dog mom. I was feeling a bit lonely and I really wanted something to take care of and share the world with, so I researched and found the most adorable puppy!

Now being a dog mom is super fun and has some perks, but it is one of the most challenging things I have ever done. Winnie is super cute and totally worth it, but the frustration is real!

4 Months [2]

Ever tried to potty train? Teach commands? Stop biting and jumping? If you have then you know the struggle, if you have not, I cannot begin to explain how difficult and trying it is. You think you are on the right track and your dog has got it and then the next minute or a few days later you realize it isn’t working or hasn’t stuck.

I have had a few breakdowns involving Winnie and her stubborn and ornery ways, but I have had many breakthroughs as well! But last night was a stressful one and Jeremiah encouraged me to look up past episodes of the Dog Whisperer. Of course I think I can do it all by myself with what I know, so he takes it upon himself to pull one up. I sit there as stubborn as my dog and refuse to accept that maybe I could change my ways a bit.

We started implementing some of what Cesar talks about and sure enough Winnie has been responding to some of the tricks. Hopefully, she will start retaining more of what she is taught, because I know she really wants to obey!

On another note, I am super excited it is starting to get warm outside, so we can spend more time on walks and just playing out in the sun!

❤ Lauren

Show Review: Gossip Girl

Lately, I have been extremely disappointed in the television industry in that the shows they are creating have no depth, no interest, no anything and the ones that do happen to suck you in get cancelled. I was going through a dry spell, so I decided to watch Gossip Girl for a second time, because I knew it would be entertaining.

—SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!—

I’ve never watched a show twice all the way through, so this was my first experience with that. I remember being really disappointed with the ending of Gossip Girl. Dan being Gossip Girl was not only a shock, but was a plot twist they totally decided on maybe a season before. After learning that the first time around, I kept thinking about how that couldn’t have been possible. Well watching it a second time really gave me the opportunity to see if I had missed something. I hadn’t. Dan didn’t become a possibility until at best Season 5.

Before I get into my thoughts on the ending, I would like to discuss the characters and how I feel about them. Let’s start with Serena; She was the character I disliked the most from episode 1 till the very end. She was the ultimate selfish rich kid who had everything she could ever want yet still wasn’t satisfied and felt so entitled it made me sick. There were multiple occasions where she acted as if Blair was so awful for scheming when she was up to the same antics. She was so whiny and annoying and I think the show would have been 100 times better without her.

Now Blair on the other hand was my second favorite character. I appreciated her mean girl attitude in public yet her vulnerability when she was at home. She had a broken family, because her beloved dad turned out to be gay, she had an eating disorder, and insecurity complex, because of her mother’s success. Blair was a real character and actually embodied what makes a bully.

Jenny was my absolute favorite character! I know a lot of people lost interest in her character once she went crazy, but she was the most believable. She represented what money, wealth, and power can do to a person. She started out as an average girl from Brooklyn who was family oriented and sweet yet all she wanted was to fit into the private school she attended in Manhattan. Once her dad married up, her whole life changed. Her fashion took off, she became Queen of her school, and her attitude and entitlement kicked in. She lost her wholesome and sweet demeanor and gave into scheming and rudeness until she literally couldn’t remember who she was and ultimately leaves New York for good.

I’m not sure if Vanessa actually deserves a paragraph, but I disliked her from the beginning too. She shows up out of nowhere and just expects Dan to be the same person he was and tries to ruin his life on multiple occasions. She, like Jenny, lets the Upper East Side take over her life and ultimately leaves. But I don’t think there was actually ever a time I was actually rooting for her.

I remember being obsessed with Nate when I watched it the first time, but this time I realized he wasn’t really all that. Yes he was the cutest of the group, but he came from a family that was falling apart, didn’t participate in ruining lives through Gossip Girl (which might be his only good quality). He really took a downfall in the later seasons, but seemed to give up on his friends anytime they did something wrong. In the end, he followed in his father’s footsteps and almost lost his paper and sadly didn’t get a girl even though he dated or had a thing with all of them (Blair, Serena, Jenny, Vanessa, and many others).

Chuck was an iffy character for me. I know most were obsessed with him and Blair, but I think he treated her awfully throughout the whole show. Constantly leading her on only to refuse to love her even though it was obvious he need her. He traded her for a hotel, told her she was like a racehorse. Yes, he was mysterious and messed up and had more money than them all put together, but that is no excuse to be a monster.

Last, but not least, there is Dan. I remember thinking Dan was horrible for what he wrote about his friends in the end, but now I realize he did nothing wrong. Sure, he said some not-so-great things about the people in his life, but he never lied; his friends just couldn’t handle reading the truth about themselves. All Dan ever wanted was to be noticed and to fit into the world he didn’t belong in and in the end he got his wish.

The show starts out very strong with a definite plot, but then it starts to take some strange, far-fetched turns. I did begin to lose a little interest, but it picks back up again. If you can get over how unrealistic the whole thing becomes, then it stays good. But I wish the writers had known how they were going to finish it, because then they could have avoided some very obvious mistakes.

This was truly a good show. A little dramatic; perhaps a soap opera during prime time, but overall very entertaining!

Turn of Events

Direction

Remember last summer, late fall, and early winter? Remember all I could talk about? Remember everything I complained about? Remember what continually made me so happy and then made me very sad? One boy.

Things did not end so well and answers were not received, because the silence was so loud. A couple days ago the silence ended with an apology and an explanation in its place.

At first I was shocked, but relieved. Maybe we had a chance at being friends, but little by little, I began to feel weird about it. It was great to finally have the answers I once felt I needed, but now I realized that I had left that in the past.

My brain didn’t know how to feel or react, because of all the history. I realized that I did not know how to be friends with him or even if I wanted to be. It sounded good, but I didn’t think I could actually do it.

So today, I did something I never thought I would be able to… I told him I did not think we should be friends. I have Jeremiah now whom I love him with everything in me and I will not do anything that could jeopardize what I have with him.

I feel that we are on the same page and have gone our own ways with no hard feelings. I think this is a good thing and I am ready to move forward.

❤ Lauren

Not All Things Are Forever

Friends

Life is full of seasons. Childhood. Adolescence. Adulthood. Beyond. To go even further, you can split these four seasons into smaller seasons, specifically Adolescence and Adulthood. Within Adolescence, we have elementary school, jr. high, and high school. Within Adulthood, we start with college and keep on trucking through getting real jobs, getting married, and having children. Through all of these seasons everything in your life tends to change, sometimes you can stop it, but sometimes there is nothing you can do.

Besides us as people, I think our friends are what change the most. Whether it be a dramatic change, a drastic change, or a dreaded change; the bottom line is that not all friends are meant to last from day one to the end.

As we go through life, we face different trials. These trials shape us into different people than we once were and sometimes people who are really close to us do not understand. We can try and explain it. We can try and apologize. We can try and revert to our old selves. But sometimes everything we try and do just doesn’t work.

When it becomes more stressful and exhausting and draining to continue being friends, you have to come to terms that maybe it is just time to go your separate ways. It is never easy to see a friendship go, especially for me, who feels all friendships should be forever, but that is implausible. I have struggled with losing friends and letting friends go for as long as I can remember. I beat myself up over the fact that I cannot make them all happy or, better yet, understand me.

But lately I have been uncharacteristically calm about my friendships changing. I have slowly been growing apart from my close friends from high school and was so scared of losing them, but now I have met new people who I am slowly realizing I am more comfortable spending time and sharing my thoughts with. I am learning to cherish the time I have to get to know them and relate to them while we are all in this time of growing.

It has taken me a long time to come to this point in my life where I am okay with my changing friendships. It can even come as a relief to realize that you aren’t chained for all your days to friends who are not growing in the same way or direction that you are.

Let that sink in. Once I came to terms with the fact that it is okay for not all friends to be best friends and not all friendships to be forever, I could start appreciating the friends I currently have and start building lasting relationships with them.

❤ Lauren