Remember last summer, late fall, and early winter? Remember all I could talk about? Remember everything I complained about? Remember what continually made me so happy and then made me very sad? One boy.
Things did not end so well and answers were not received, because the silence was so loud. A couple days ago the silence ended with an apology and an explanation in its place.
At first I was shocked, but relieved. Maybe we had a chance at being friends, but little by little, I began to feel weird about it. It was great to finally have the answers I once felt I needed, but now I realized that I had left that in the past.
My brain didn’t know how to feel or react, because of all the history. I realized that I did not know how to be friends with him or even if I wanted to be. It sounded good, but I didn’t think I could actually do it.
So today, I did something I never thought I would be able to… I told him I did not think we should be friends. I have Jeremiah now whom I love him with everything in me and I will not do anything that could jeopardize what I have with him.
I feel that we are on the same page and have gone our own ways with no hard feelings. I think this is a good thing and I am ready to move forward.