It’s my senior year. It’s more than that though, it’s my senior year of college! And let me tell you how exciting, scary, and totally exhausting it is. It feels that there is always something to be done and I am feeling the pressure. Last week, I felt like my head might never stop aching from all the stress and pressure and complete exhaustion. All I want to do is graduate and transition into a job afterward, but sometimes it feels that that is impossible.
Well to add to the natural stress that comes with preparing to graduate and be on your own, is the mixed signals from my parents. My parents are two of my biggest supporters, but in the last month or so they have fallen down on the encouragement wagon. It has been a blessing to have their help in paying for college and rent during my time in school and have worked hard to focus on my education as well as holding one part-time job. A few months ago I had the opportunity to add another part-time job to my load, but my mom assured me that wasn’t necessary and that they just wanted me to really focus on my studies, so I let the offer pass. My current part-time job was supposed to end back in December, so I tried for a few weeks to replace it, but came up empty, but luckily my boss’s were able to find some more work for me that should keep me employed for the next few months. Yay! But my mom is still on me about finding another job and although I am grateful for all the help my parents give me adding on another job seems like a daunting task, because finding a job is a full-time job on top of school and the current job I already have. Sometimes I just need them to be excited that I am not jobless and that I make great grades in school.
I have also been super nervous about not having a job when I graduate. One of my worst fears is having to move back in with my parents, because I won’t be able to support myself. So with that in mind I have been trying to be diligent about keeping up with job ads and figuring out where I can actually get hired. But I was able to get in touch with my boss from my internship letting her know that I was very interested in coming back to that company and she emailed me back saying that they would love to have me. I interpreted this as fantastic news and it calmed my nerves a bit, but when I told my mom she seemed way less thrilled than I expected. This was a bit of a let down, because I would really like her to notice how much I am actually accomplishing as well as what I am actually capable of.
All I wish to get across is that encouragement goes a lot farther than expectation.