They Tied The Knot

Professional #1

Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every single night of the week. A big absolutely to that bold statement! These two lovebirds, Matt and Sarah, are two of my really good friends. I have known Sarah for eleven years now and Matt for six. They met back in junior high in English class and really hit it off. Our freshman year of high school is when they began dating. Six years later, they tied the knot! It was an incredible thing to witness seeing two best friends become one for the rest of their lives!

Seeing them get married was like a wake-up call for my head screaming, “You are growing up for real!” Sure, we graduated high school together and now we are in college doing our own thing, but now the first couple in my friend group is officially married… I don’t know who is next, but it is kind of a wonderful yet scary thought that this is going to start happening more frequently now.

I had previously mentioned that I felt that I wasn’t a very good bridesmaid. I never knew where I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to be doing, but none of that seemed to matter on the day of. Sarah was absolutely radiant with excitement and I have never seen anyone so ready! When we got to the venue to get ready, everyone was a bit frazzled. The other bridesmaids were off doing who knows what, but I came to be with Sarah. She looked at me and for the first time, I saw her nerves. She said, “Lauren, I feel like I am giving birth.” I looked at her and said, “Okay then…” and started making birth breathing sounds. She started doing it with me and then laughed so hard. She told me she was afraid of being late and I told her that the party doesn’t start till she walks in and then we started singing Kesha and I watched the nerves melt away. In that moment, I knew I was doing exactly what a friend does; bridesmaid or not!

It was a surreal evening and I know my friends are going to rock this married thing. I now have wedding fever! Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I practically designed my entire wedding… the only thing I am missing is a groom! I cannot wait for my special day… the day that the man of my dreams chooses to be stuck with me for the rest of the rest!

Too Young For This

weird face

Deer is getting married to one of my other good friends and I am a bridesmaid. It was super sweet of her to ask me and I was delighted to say yes. Last night I got an invitation to her lingerie shower and my first thought was that I was too young to be going to something like that.

It is weird for me to think about being twenty and entering this new stage where my friends are going to start settling down and getting married and having children. I have to attend a lingerie shower for goodness sake which requires me to have to pick out something for my friend to where while sleeping with my other friend.

I know this is natural. I know they are in love. I am so happy for them. But it doesn’t make it any less awkward for me. Maybe it’s because I’m immature in these areas or because this is the first time I have been in this situation, but I don’t know how to feel about it.

I want to be cool about this whole thing. I want to be outwardly excited for them instead of having my cheeks turn bright red. Why does that happen? When do I cross over that line from being a kid to being an adult. Technically I have been an adult for two years. I’m in freaking college, yet I still don’t feel like one.

When does this change? Is there anything I can do to start feeling like an adult; to start accepting all of this?

❤ a girl

Hearts & Sleeves

heart 2Sometimes we like to stick people into these different boxes based on personality type. We like to have a box for sensitive people and a box for blunt people. There are others, but those are the two I want to focus on. We stick people in these boxes and then when the lines blur, we get frustrated, confused, and irritated. We don’t stop to think that some people can be both.

I am both. I am blunt, yet sensitive. I am outspoken when it comes to my thoughts about ideas, views, and other people, but I am sensitive when it comes to me. I am fully aware that this is a double-standard, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is how I am. [It’s like how I like people to have their “read receipts” on, yet I keep mine turned off.]

Over the weekend, I went bridesmaid dress shopping. Shopping in general is not my favorite thing. Shopping for dresses is not my favorite thing. Shopping with others is not my favorite thing. So this was like a triple-whammy, but it turned out to be better than I was anticipating. Once we picked the dress, we took a group picture with it. One of the girls posted the picture to Instagram. The next morning I wake up to someone who I care about and is close to me having posted a comment expressing how my smile was ‘fake’.

Everyone can talk about sticks and stones all they want, but words hurt. These words hurt me, because that smile wasn’t fake, but very genuine. I was happy for my friend who is getting married and I was happy that we picked a dress in under an hour, plus it was kind of cute. I was hurt me, because this person didn’t even ask me about that day or how I was feeling or if I like the dress, they just put out there for everyone to see and contemplate that maybe Lauren was faking it or lying about her thoughts on the dress.

I probably overreacted a little, but I just didn’t understand how someone could be so careless. After reading that, I questioned my smile all day. I felt so self-conscious about it and about how people were perceiving me. When I talked to my mom about it, she just said that that person is outspoken and doesn’t always think before they speak. I understood where she was coming from, but I didn’t think that justified that person’s actions.

I am an blunt person, therefore that person probably didn’t think I would care, but I am also sensitive when it comes to people making assumptions and saying things about me that they have no idea about. I wouldn’t have cared if that person had come to me first and asked about it, but instead they went around me- the subject of the hurtful comment.

The comment has since been taking down. I don’t know if the owner of the post or the writer of the comment took it down, but I am relieved it is not up there for debate anymore. Just take this as a reminder that people can fit into different boxes.

❤ a girl

Twenty-Something Phase of Life

all my friends getting marriedA couple weeks ago two of my friends got engaged (to each other). It was so out-of-the-blue even though we had been anticipating this moment for years. They have been together for five years and all of us felt that it was about darn time. Today she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and I could not be more excited! I said of course!

After experiencing this, I realized that I am now entering that phase of life where your friends start to get serious with their significant others or get married. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, because honestly it is bound to happen. I couldn’t help, but think that I am falling a little behind…. I haven’t even had a boyfriend and my friends are getting married.

Then, I have those friends that keep telling me they think the guy they are with could be “the one” and I have to do everything, but roll my eyes. Some would say I am a cynic, but I like to think of myself as a realistic hopeless romantic. I won’t lie though, it would be nice to experience a little something, before all of my friends pass me in their relationships.

I know life isn’t a competition, so I am happy for all of them (as long as they don’t rush into things and I approve of the one they love 😉 ). All I can say is that if it does take me a long time to find that someone and settle down, they better not blink an eye when I ask them to loan their kids to be my flower girls or ring bearer or deal with my own bridezilla-persona on my special day.

But I am excited to enter this new phase of weddings and baby showers!

❤ a girl