We Made It!

hello 1 - EditedHello.


That’s how it started.

You threw the line.

I took the bait.

A smiling you.

A blushing me.

Lots of messages.

Lots of video chats.

31 days later.

This is where it’s at.

Goodnight Lo.


❀ a girl


Little Glimpses


When you have an overactive imagination like I do, coming up with cute stories is second nature.

Before there was you, my dreams consisted of a faceless boy. That sounds really strange, but it is true. I would have these dreams of short snippets of scenes that I someday wanted to do with my future boyfriend or husband. I was never into the details of him, but more in the details of what we were doing.

Now there is you and my dreams finally have a face. It makes all the little glimpses so much more real and fun, because I have the hope they can be a possibility one day. I can’t wait to share with you all of these little snippets!

I know I am not supposed to dwell on the negative, but it really sucks that you are so far, because there are so many things that I want to do together. But instead of getting down about that, I am going to describe these moments and create a collection of all the fun we are going to have one day.

Our situation just reiterates how normal is boring!

❀ a girl

When Do You Take The Chance?

regret 1Taking chances isn’t as easy as it sounds. We have all been told in one way or another to just do whatever we are fretting about, because we will regret it if we don’t. Well that sounds like a reasonable thing to do or live by, but in my experience that is way easier said than done.

I understand that life is all hit or miss. You either risk it and succeed or fail or you don’t and you never know. But I am at a stand still right now. I worked with this guy on Valentine’s Day and ever since I have been developing a crush on him. He is just so cute, nice, and easy to talk to that I can’t help it. Last Tuesday I got his number and we talked till 2am and this just got my hopes up that maybe, just maybe, something could happen.

Well I work with him all day tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it. Except that a few of my friends are encouraging me to “hint” at grabbing dinner when we get off. That’s all well and good (besides the fact that I can’t hint at anything to save my life), but I kind of don’t want to be the one to initiate us hanging out. I want him to ask me. And maybe that’s petty, but I’m just not sure.

But then in the back of my head I hear all that crap about taking chances. If I don’t ask him, maybe I’ll have missed my chance and then regret it forever…

Why can’t this just be simple? Or why do I have to make it so complicated?

❀ a girl

The Girl Who Gets The Guy

heart 1

He is the king of mixed signals and she is the queen of getting her hopes up.

One day I want to be the girl who actually gets the guy. Being a hopeless romantic is engrained inside of me, but I don’t know why. I love to read sappy love stories, watch romantic comedies and dramas, and listen as people talk about their personal experiences with relationships. Although I do have a growing sense of cynicism, I can’t shake that feeling I get when I read or watch something about love. It is just something that I will always long for no matter what.

Being the best friend, the sweet co-worker, and the one with an ear always willing to listen is my specialty. I have perfected being the girl who is dependable and friendly that everyone smiles at and is nice to (for the most part). But part of me doesn’t want to always be that girl. Part of me wants to be that mysterious, elusive girl that everyone wants to get to know. Part of me wants to be that overzealous, party girl who everyone wants to hang out with.

I have never been the prettiest, the smartest, the talented, or the popular, so I have a bit of skepticism and realism on my side when it comes to wanting someone to pick me, because, quite frankly, I have never been that girl. But it is such a hindrance having that hopeless romantic inside of me who melts when a guy spends time with me, talks to me, or does something chivalrous for no reason. I have to tell that romantic inside of me to hush, because I can’t develop feelings for him and think he is doing these things for me, because he likes me, but more because I am nice and that is what he is supposed to do.

It may be strange or pathetic, but not developing crushes is difficult for me. I have always been that girl who has a crush on someone. Whether I voice it out loud or keep it a secret, it is always there. But this can be a negative thing as well, because when the feelings are never reciprocated it just brings my self-confidence and self-love to a lower notch. I just keep wondering to myself why I am not good enough for any of the guys that treat me right, are nice to me, and I think are cute.

I keep waiting for that moment when I finally spark interest in someone or when the guy I am crushing on finally wakes up and decides I am worth it, but sometimes that moment seems so far away or like it is never going to happen. But that oh so hopeless romantic inside of me won’t allow me to lose hope.

❀ a girl