Another Name for Insecurity


I woke up this morning to a text. After reading this text, I think my skin turned a shade green.

Sloth has an internship at an airline this summer. She is a technology intern and has to wake up at the crack of dawn every weekday morning and come home really late; she is pretty much exhausted all the time, but is having “so much fun” there.

I know it does me no good to be jealous of her and her opportunity, but there are days when I can’t help it. As her best friend, she tells me about all the people she is meeting and how great they are, about what an awesome opportunity this is and how much she is learning, and about all the free flights to anywhere she gets to take.

Yep! That is what I am most jealous of… the free flights. I love to travel and I want to go to all these places, but never seem to be able to. Now she gets this internship and flies everywhere with all her new friends and then tells me all about how amazing they are. I know she isn’t doing it to be malicious, but sometimes I just want her to quit going to all the places I want to go or the places we discussed going together.

Her and I discussed visiting Charleston, South Carolina when we were obsessed with One Tree Hill, because that is the city that they filmed the show in. I thought we had plans to go there, but now that her flights are free and she has other friends whose flights are free, she has decided to go there with them. I don’t want her to miss out, but at the same time I want her to stop and remember and think maybe she should go somewhere that we weren’t planning to go.

What also sucks is how she and I were both interns at the Texas Rangers during our senior year of high school. To say it was an awful experience would be an understatement, but that had always been our thing. Now she just loves to tell me how much we got screwed over and how awesome this internship is. I am happy she finally has something to compare it to and I would be sad if she didn’t tell me about it, but sometimes I just don’t want to know.

Anyway I got a text today from her asking me to tell Deer that she wasn’t going to make it to her bridal shower on Saturday, because she is going to be in Chicago (again). After reading that this morning, I couldn’t help but sigh, because sometimes, for your friends, you need to make sacrifices and attend what you said you would. But she will bounce back and this is an amazing opportunity for her and I am proud of her… most of the time.

❤ a girl