I Still Don’t Like Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day. The holiday that you can’t openly dislike without serious criticism.

Ever since I was in junior high, I have thought Valentine’s Day was a stupid holiday. Why is it even classified as a holiday? When you’re younger, you decorate cute boxes and write all your classmate’s names on little cards to make sure that everyone feels included, but as you get older that isn’t the case anymore, because you actually understand what the holiday is about.

It is a specified day where society tells your significant other they have to show you they love you. What is special about that? Well, nothing is special about that, because it is not heartfelt or thoughtful, it is obligatory. So your guy takes you to a nice dinner, buys you flowers, brings you breakfast in bed on February 14th… that is great, but it would mean exponentially more to me if he did that on a day where every other guy wasn’t doing the exact same thing, on a day where it isn’t expected.

Before this past year, if I claimed to dislike Valentine’s Day it would get chalked up to the fact that I was single. Woe is me, because I don’t have someone paying attention to me on a day they are told to. The point I was trying to make is that it just isn’t special, because it is a holiday designed to make society money. Imagine how much money is made from flower, chocolate, and card sales… a freaking ton and it is so unnecessary! But now I am engaged and my views haven’t changed and lucky for me, I found someone who sees it the same way as me.

My fiancé and I aren’t celebrating Valentine’s Day, because we both believe that we don’t need a specific day to show the other we love them. He surprises me with food and I leave notes on his windshield. We do little and big things whether we have a reason or not. We aren’t going to buy into the hype or obligation that February 14th brings, we will create that “magic” on some other day when it actually comes from the heart.

But for those of you who do celebrate, Happy Valentine’s Day!

3 Words & 8 Letters

3-words-8-letters

Three words. Eight letters. I Love You.

I find the phrase “I Love You” so fascinating! Have you ever actually thought about what this phrase means? Or better yet, what it means to you? Have you ever wondered about the expectations it carries around? Do you toy with the idea of saying it to someone? Do you think about saying it at all?

Before this year, I said “I Love You” to family members and various close friends, but now that I started thinking about it, I realized there were stipulations on those who heard these words from me. I said “I Love You” to my parents as a no-brainer, but I don’t regularly tell my brother that I love him even though I do. Why? I don’t know, but it could be that we do not have a mushy-gushy type of relationship. When it comes to my friends, select few get a “Love You” as I give them a hug goodbye when I know I won’t see them for awhile. I realized that since I cycle through friends so frequently, I don’t say “I Love You” very regularly to those friends I consider close; they have to earn it. Yet I tell my puppy I love her multiple times a day.

It seems as if some love is earned while some is automatic.

But saying “I Love You” comes with a tremendous amount of expectations when used in the romantic world. It is this idea that saying it is a big deal and it has to be the right moment with the right person. Some people think through all this while others just do or don’t, but never consciously think about it. Last year, I talked with Mitten (a boy-interest) every day all the time for about four months. I felt so connected to him, because he listened and talked to me. Yet I never said that I loved him. I dated Carrot for about three weeks or so back in January. I thought we really connected for about a week or two. Yet I never said that I loved him. I never thought about whether I loved them. I never thought about saying that I loved them to draw us closer or fix our relationship. I never thought about whether I should or was supposed to love them. It never crossed my mind. Was it because I knew they weren’t the ones for me? Was it because I didn’t really feel for them? Well I can tell you that I didn’t love either one of those boys and I think it was a good decision that I never made the mistake of using the phrase “I Love You” for any purpose or reason other than to express a feeling.

The first time I ever said “I Love You” to someone who was more than a friend or family was to Penguin. He is my best friend, has been since about December, and we started dating around March. He makes me smile and laugh and drives me absolutely crazy, but I have loved him since the beginning. I loved him because he did more than just try and get my attention; he really listened and understood me! He never made me feel inadequate or insecure. He challenged me and encouraged me. I could go on and on about why I love Penguin, but the thing is that I did not tell him I loved him right off the bat. Did I hold it in because I didn’t want to scare him off? Did I hold it in because I wanted to make sure he felt the same way? Truth is- I never thought about it, shockingly, I never over-analyzed it. One day, I just told him. Ya, I said “it” first and I wasn’t ashamed and it wasn’t weird.

The thing about Penguin and I is that although we have said that we love each other and we both know that love is in the air, we do not say we love each other every time we see each other. We don’t say it every time we say goodbye to each other. We don’t say it every time we call each other. I think what makes that phrase special to us, is that we don’t overuse it. “I Love You” is not a greeting or goodbye for us, it is a sincere feeling that we only say when we are truly feeling it. Yes, we say it when we are being serious and silly, but we never say it just because we know we should or are supposed to.

I think that is important. I don’t think there is anything wrong with people who think about when to say it and who to say it to, but I think you won’t have to when the time and the person is right!

Movie Review: Before We Go

Before We Go is a movie that Chris Evans starred in and directed. I added it to my Netflix que a while back and just got around to watching it and I am pleased to say that I genuinely really liked it by the end! It has an indie film feel to it, but it also has a heartwarming charm to it. The beginning started off kind of slow, but after 20 or so minutes I was interested in the characters.

This is one of those movies that is based on New York City happenstance. There are a lot of movies that revolve around this notion that strangers meet in NYC and magic happens. Although I don’t believe in this, I will admit that it is a guilty pleasure plot that I enjoy.

Nick and Brooke both find themselves in New York on this fateful night and coincidently Brooke misses her train, but really needs to get back home and Nick is avoiding attending a certain event, so being a true gentleman he offers to help her. So as the movie progresses, the two get into all kinds of mischief while you slowly learn about each of their pasts and circumstances.

I like the mystery and the way it unfolds. I like the almost ending and how it doesn’t go the way you think it is going to. They were going for a “fill in your own ending” which always irritate me, because I like definite endings, but I am still really happy with the way it turned out and I am actually smiling while writing this. Definitely watch if you are a sucker for New York City movies, romance movies, indie love films… just watch it!

Show Review: Gilmore Girls

As much as I loved the show Gilmore Girls, it took me over two years to finish it. I had seen mismatched episodes on ABC Family a long time ago, but chose to watch it in order when Netflix put the entire series up. It is such an original, heartwarming, good-feeling, laugh a little, cry a little, smile a lot story. I recommend for all girls in general, but especially preteen, teens, and college aged girls; if you can watch it with your mom then that is a plus.

The story follows Lorelai and Rory Gilmore for just about 7 years while they figure out life and love. They are two very quirky characters who live in a town full of even more quirky people, places, and events. Watching this show is never dull and it can be quite an inspiring ride. I’ll admit that I definitely cried during the last episode.

Lorelai is a single mom who is estranged from her parents when the show begins, but eventually builds a relationship with them through certain circumstances. She is in the hospitality industry and is best friends with an incredible chef. Rory is her whole world and she will do whatever it takes to help her succeed and be the best she can be.

Rory starts out as a sophomore in high school who has just gotten her break at a top tier prep school. She loves to read, read, and study. She is best friends with an Asian girl who dreams of being in a band, but has a crazy strict mother. Rory is very naive, so you get to experience her navigate growing up.

Both girls face hardship, drama, and heartache as well as superior excitement, happiness, and love while being overly caffeinated. It is definitely a show not to miss. In some aspects, it has given me a whole new outlook on certain activities!

“If you are going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.”
-Lorelai Gilmore

Don’t Flatter Yourself

Strangers With Memories

Last week one of my friends was asking about how Jeremiah and I were doing as a couple. Honestly, he and I are absolutely wonderful. That sounds cheesy and some would brush it off as that first stage in a relationship, but by saying we are absolutely wonderful, I am not saying that we are perfect.

We are both flawed people who have our issues that shine through here and there, but we are also both people who understand the other is flawed. We expect for there to be rough times and disagreements, but that is how we find out if we can work together to work through it. I cherish Jeremiah for his issues and his quirks. I might not always understand them, but I like trying, because through trying, I get to learn more about him and the way he ticks.

Well my friend smiled and said she figured Jeremiah and I had the real thing and claimed she knew we would end up together from the start. Laughing, she told me that some thought he was just a rebound. I asked her who and she was like oh, you know.. really just one person. I didn’t know and she told me Q was claiming Jeremiah was just a rebound from him. Who he was telling, who knows, but who cares. He doesn’t get an opinion about anything. I gave him a chance (only God knows why) and he not only let it go, but pushed me so far away even after multiple chances to redeem himself.

I made a point to make sure my heart and head were in the right place before allowing myself to accept my feelings for Jeremiah. I told him no twice before I decided I was ready, so I would rather someone get the facts before spreading false conclusions. Q is the one who decided he didn’t want me, so he doesn’t get to care about what I do or who I see. I finally took steps to cleanse my room of things of his, because I don’t want to be associated with him anymore.

Jeremiah is amazing, sweet, caring, thoughtful, creative, flawed, and weird, but he is who I want. I can’t even remember ever wanting anyone like I want him. He is my best friend and that is how I always wanted it to be. I smile and laugh so much around him, but he also allows me to cry when I need to. We make an incredible team and I cannot wait to see what is in store for us!

Here’s to choosing not to let false, hurtful words actually hurt us, because it isn’t worth it!

❤ Lauren