Fifty-Two Cards in a Deck

card

To give you my favorite deck of cards is nothing compared to my heart.
-Jeremiah Grey

I had always dreamed of being in love, married, a wife. The way my life was going it seemed so far into the future, but then God intervened and placed this sweet, weird, handsome man in my path and in fifty-two days I get to marry him!

When I met Jeremiah, I was in no place to be in a relationship. I was depressed, sad, lonely, and just getting back in touch with God, but I was drawn to him and his quirky and different demeanor. It didn’t seem like he was very into me, but we kept getting paired together and I worked hard at trying to get noticed. Through time and unusual circumstances, Jeremiah and I began a journey to becoming the best of friends. Through simple statements turning into all-night deep conversations, I realized that being vulnerable and honest was easy with Jeremiah. We saw sides of each other we would normally hide, but it was refreshing to be so close to someone.

It’s incredible how much things can change over a summer. Jeremiah and I grew so close in those two months, but when the school year started up again everything was different including our church home. This was the place where we met filled with people we though we were friends with, but it just didn’t feel like home anymore and we decided not to go back. I don’t feel leaving was a mistake, but the time it took afterwards to find a new church home was detrimental to our walks with God. We were trying new churches at first, but then grew tired of endless disappointment and eventually stopped looking. Things were going so great for us and between us, the concern of finding a church home was no longer on our minds.

A little over a month ago we stumbled upon a church that was perfect for us, but while attending service on Sundays, I began to feel guilty and far from God. I knew that I needed Him and He would take me back, but didn’t know how to get there. Last night I confided in Jeremiah about how I had been feeling and Jeremiah looked at my tear stained face and told me he had been feeling the same. Together we prayed to ask God to be the center of our relationship and to help us grow together, but toward Him. We want to cultivate a strong Christ-centered marriage. Jeremiah and I know it won’t be easy, but we accept the challenge and responsibility of getting ourselves right with God!

I Said Yes!

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams.
-Dr. Seuss

Jeremiah asked me to marry him last night… I SAID YES!

You know how people say everything happens for a reason? Last night that proved true. You all know how my best gal friend decided she wanted nothing to with me on Wednesday and I was destroyed. Well, I decided that I wanted something good to come out of that, so I reached out to Jeremiah’s twin’s fiancé to apologize for my previous behavior. She is a wonderful girl, but I felt so insecure around her, so there were times I was nonchalantly cold toward her. I came clean and explained how I was feeling and how I think and react. I genuinely want to get to know her, so I asked if she would be interested in us hanging out without the guys around. She agreed and we made plans for Saturday.

Saturday came and she told me about this craft fair in downtown Fort Worth that she has been dying to go to and wanted to know if I wanted to check it out with her. I agreed and she sent me the address of a church we were going to park at. When we got there, I was just following her lead, but turns out there was no craft fair. We turn the corner and there is a row of trees all lit up and I see Jeremiah standing at the other end holding flowers. I stop and look around and realize that I was supposed to walk over to him.

I’m smiling so stinking wide as I approach him. I give him a big kiss and he tells me not yet (lol!). He hands me the flowers and they not only smelled beautiful, they were my favorite color. He then takes a step back and picks up this huge wooden plaque. He begins to read. I realize he has written me a poem. I take in every word and can’t tear my eyes away from him. The poem is about him, us, me. He has intertwined it with little quirks from our time together and it makes my smile even bigger! He ends with: Lauren, you are my everything, so will you marry me?

Jeremiah gets a little black box from his pocket and then kneels down. After further explaining why he wants to marry me, I am so eager to give him my answer. OF COURSE! He puts the most simply beautiful ring on my finger and beams at me. I can’t contain my excitement. I am engaged to my best friend! But it only got better. He had arranged for my family to be at a restaurant down the street, so we met them there. It was absolutely better than anything I could have ever imagined and I am literally floating on cloud 100!

They Tied The Knot

Professional #1

Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every single night of the week. A big absolutely to that bold statement! These two lovebirds, Matt and Sarah, are two of my really good friends. I have known Sarah for eleven years now and Matt for six. They met back in junior high in English class and really hit it off. Our freshman year of high school is when they began dating. Six years later, they tied the knot! It was an incredible thing to witness seeing two best friends become one for the rest of their lives!

Seeing them get married was like a wake-up call for my head screaming, “You are growing up for real!” Sure, we graduated high school together and now we are in college doing our own thing, but now the first couple in my friend group is officially married… I don’t know who is next, but it is kind of a wonderful yet scary thought that this is going to start happening more frequently now.

I had previously mentioned that I felt that I wasn’t a very good bridesmaid. I never knew where I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to be doing, but none of that seemed to matter on the day of. Sarah was absolutely radiant with excitement and I have never seen anyone so ready! When we got to the venue to get ready, everyone was a bit frazzled. The other bridesmaids were off doing who knows what, but I came to be with Sarah. She looked at me and for the first time, I saw her nerves. She said, “Lauren, I feel like I am giving birth.” I looked at her and said, “Okay then…” and started making birth breathing sounds. She started doing it with me and then laughed so hard. She told me she was afraid of being late and I told her that the party doesn’t start till she walks in and then we started singing Kesha and I watched the nerves melt away. In that moment, I knew I was doing exactly what a friend does; bridesmaid or not!

It was a surreal evening and I know my friends are going to rock this married thing. I now have wedding fever! Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I practically designed my entire wedding… the only thing I am missing is a groom! I cannot wait for my special day… the day that the man of my dreams chooses to be stuck with me for the rest of the rest!

Too Young For This

weird face

Deer is getting married to one of my other good friends and I am a bridesmaid. It was super sweet of her to ask me and I was delighted to say yes. Last night I got an invitation to her lingerie shower and my first thought was that I was too young to be going to something like that.

It is weird for me to think about being twenty and entering this new stage where my friends are going to start settling down and getting married and having children. I have to attend a lingerie shower for goodness sake which requires me to have to pick out something for my friend to where while sleeping with my other friend.

I know this is natural. I know they are in love. I am so happy for them. But it doesn’t make it any less awkward for me. Maybe it’s because I’m immature in these areas or because this is the first time I have been in this situation, but I don’t know how to feel about it.

I want to be cool about this whole thing. I want to be outwardly excited for them instead of having my cheeks turn bright red. Why does that happen? When do I cross over that line from being a kid to being an adult. Technically I have been an adult for two years. I’m in freaking college, yet I still don’t feel like one.

When does this change? Is there anything I can do to start feeling like an adult; to start accepting all of this?

❤ a girl

Twenty-Something Phase of Life

all my friends getting marriedA couple weeks ago two of my friends got engaged (to each other). It was so out-of-the-blue even though we had been anticipating this moment for years. They have been together for five years and all of us felt that it was about darn time. Today she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and I could not be more excited! I said of course!

After experiencing this, I realized that I am now entering that phase of life where your friends start to get serious with their significant others or get married. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, because honestly it is bound to happen. I couldn’t help, but think that I am falling a little behind…. I haven’t even had a boyfriend and my friends are getting married.

Then, I have those friends that keep telling me they think the guy they are with could be “the one” and I have to do everything, but roll my eyes. Some would say I am a cynic, but I like to think of myself as a realistic hopeless romantic. I won’t lie though, it would be nice to experience a little something, before all of my friends pass me in their relationships.

I know life isn’t a competition, so I am happy for all of them (as long as they don’t rush into things and I approve of the one they love 😉 ). All I can say is that if it does take me a long time to find that someone and settle down, they better not blink an eye when I ask them to loan their kids to be my flower girls or ring bearer or deal with my own bridezilla-persona on my special day.

But I am excited to enter this new phase of weddings and baby showers!

❤ a girl