It has been awhile, but I have finally come to an understanding. God has been faithful to me even though I refused to acknowledge it.
I prayed every day that He would bring Bailey home quickly, safely, and in good condition. I don’t think I have ever prayed so hard, so often, and so passionately for something. God answered that prayer. Bailey came back the last week of October and was generally fine.
God answered this prayer knowing the outcome. He knew it was not going to turn out like I hoped. He knew how I was going to be affected by Bailey’s inactions. But still He answered my prayer and my pleas to show me the power of prayer.
I now have this specific answered prayer to hold on to when I feel like God is far. He didn’t ignore me then to save me from the hurt and heartache He knew was coming, so now I can have faith and know that God will come through in all situations.
❤ a girl
Just let me finish this page. Just let me finish this paragraph. Just let me get to the break.
My family and friends have heard me say these three phrases over and over again. It is the never ending struggle of a bookworm. Everyone wants something from you and all you want is to get to a good stopping point.
I have always been the lone wolf in my family when it comes to reading. None of them like to read, so I have always been the odd-ball. They never understood why I cannot just close the book when they call. Stopping mid-sentence or mid-paragraph is not okay.
It is so funny to me that growing up they read to me, encouraged me to read, took me to the book store, bought me books, but never did they ever pick up a book. Not even get a little bit curious. I have been encouraging them to read ever since I realized it was my passion. There is so much out there that I felt they are missing out on.
About a month ago or so, I noticed that one of the books on my window sill was gone. I looked everywhere for it and just couldn’t figure out where else I would have put it. I walked into the kitchen complaining that I had lost one of my books and my mom tells me that she borrowed it; like it was no big deal. I was beyond shocked. My mother doesn’t read. My mother has never picked up a book. But I was so excited at the same time. What if I wouldn’t be the only reader in my family after all.
Well time went by and she hadn’t gotten but a couple chapters in. She couldn’t really sit still or focus long enough to get anywhere. She ended up going out of town and when she got back she informed me she made it to Chapter 7 and then she left again and when she got back she was even further. This morning I walked out onto the back porch and found my mother sitting in a chair reading! I started talking to her and she held up her finger and told me to let her finish the page.
I almost fell over!! But instead I started cracking up. That is the one of the last phrases I ever thought I would hear my mom say. It felt so good to know that maybe, just maybe, someone in my family could understand my passion for reading!
❤ a girl