Not All Things Are Forever

Friends

Life is full of seasons. Childhood. Adolescence. Adulthood. Beyond. To go even further, you can split these four seasons into smaller seasons, specifically Adolescence and Adulthood. Within Adolescence, we have elementary school, jr. high, and high school. Within Adulthood, we start with college and keep on trucking through getting real jobs, getting married, and having children. Through all of these seasons everything in your life tends to change, sometimes you can stop it, but sometimes there is nothing you can do.

Besides us as people, I think our friends are what change the most. Whether it be a dramatic change, a drastic change, or a dreaded change; the bottom line is that not all friends are meant to last from day one to the end.

As we go through life, we face different trials. These trials shape us into different people than we once were and sometimes people who are really close to us do not understand. We can try and explain it. We can try and apologize. We can try and revert to our old selves. But sometimes everything we try and do just doesn’t work.

When it becomes more stressful and exhausting and draining to continue being friends, you have to come to terms that maybe it is just time to go your separate ways. It is never easy to see a friendship go, especially for me, who feels all friendships should be forever, but that is implausible. I have struggled with losing friends and letting friends go for as long as I can remember. I beat myself up over the fact that I cannot make them all happy or, better yet, understand me.

But lately I have been uncharacteristically calm about my friendships changing. I have slowly been growing apart from my close friends from high school and was so scared of losing them, but now I have met new people who I am slowly realizing I am more comfortable spending time and sharing my thoughts with. I am learning to cherish the time I have to get to know them and relate to them while we are all in this time of growing.

It has taken me a long time to come to this point in my life where I am okay with my changing friendships. It can even come as a relief to realize that you aren’t chained for all your days to friends who are not growing in the same way or direction that you are.

Let that sink in. Once I came to terms with the fact that it is okay for not all friends to be best friends and not all friendships to be forever, I could start appreciating the friends I currently have and start building lasting relationships with them.

❤ Lauren

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Just Listen… Leave Your Opinion Out Of It.

opinons

Being an opinionated and outspoken person growing up, I am accustomed to saying things that people didn’t ask for nor did they want to hear. I am used to being the “bad one”, the “mean one”, the “rude one”…. the list goes on, but today I was on the opposite end of this and I really want to yell for them to just keep their mouth shut.

Lately, I feel like my friends think they know best about what I need, what I should think, and how I should feel. They are constantly telling me that I am wrong, that I am not thinking clearly, and always giving me unasked for advice. I know they are just trying to help, but sometimes I don’t need or want their help. I am a grown girl and can make up my own mind about the people I care about and the activities I take part in.

In response to yesterday, I went ahead and re-messaged his mom and was delighted to receive such a positive reply. I wanted to share this information with my best friend, because it filled me with some peace and relief, but she shot me down before I could even get there. She told me that I needed to let him go, because he doesn’t seem like a great guy.

Um… hold on. First, I was not asking for her advice, I just wanted to tell her some positive news. Second, she has never met him nor has she ever really inquired about why I feel the way I do about him or even how I feel about him. Third, she only knows my side of what I choose to tell her which is normally when I need to rant or rave, so extremes, but there is middle ground that she doesn’t know about. Fourth, I understand that everything isn’t rainbows when it comes to him. He isn’t perfect, but who he is. Fifth, I am not willing to give up that easily. Things get tough, but I want to at least discuss it and I am definitely not going to “let it go” without him having the means to communicate.

We were both wrong at one point or the other and who knows… maybe this isn’t meant to be, but just giving up when things aren’t easy isn’t the way to figure that out. But sometimes, I just wish my friends would keep their opinions to themselves or phrase them a bit differently as to not hurt my feelings, because they tend to be a bit fragile these days.

❤ a girl

Another Name for Insecurity

jealousy

I woke up this morning to a text. After reading this text, I think my skin turned a shade green.

Sloth has an internship at an airline this summer. She is a technology intern and has to wake up at the crack of dawn every weekday morning and come home really late; she is pretty much exhausted all the time, but is having “so much fun” there.

I know it does me no good to be jealous of her and her opportunity, but there are days when I can’t help it. As her best friend, she tells me about all the people she is meeting and how great they are, about what an awesome opportunity this is and how much she is learning, and about all the free flights to anywhere she gets to take.

Yep! That is what I am most jealous of… the free flights. I love to travel and I want to go to all these places, but never seem to be able to. Now she gets this internship and flies everywhere with all her new friends and then tells me all about how amazing they are. I know she isn’t doing it to be malicious, but sometimes I just want her to quit going to all the places I want to go or the places we discussed going together.

Her and I discussed visiting Charleston, South Carolina when we were obsessed with One Tree Hill, because that is the city that they filmed the show in. I thought we had plans to go there, but now that her flights are free and she has other friends whose flights are free, she has decided to go there with them. I don’t want her to miss out, but at the same time I want her to stop and remember and think maybe she should go somewhere that we weren’t planning to go.

What also sucks is how she and I were both interns at the Texas Rangers during our senior year of high school. To say it was an awful experience would be an understatement, but that had always been our thing. Now she just loves to tell me how much we got screwed over and how awesome this internship is. I am happy she finally has something to compare it to and I would be sad if she didn’t tell me about it, but sometimes I just don’t want to know.

Anyway I got a text today from her asking me to tell Deer that she wasn’t going to make it to her bridal shower on Saturday, because she is going to be in Chicago (again). After reading that this morning, I couldn’t help but sigh, because sometimes, for your friends, you need to make sacrifices and attend what you said you would. But she will bounce back and this is an amazing opportunity for her and I am proud of her… most of the time.

❤ a girl

The Best Friend Life

best friend 1

You know that quote: “Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest, but who came and never left your side.” This is exactly the case when it comes to my best friend, Sloth (all my besties really!). I met Sloth my freshman year of high school in Spanish 2 class. We were the youngest students in the class and really bonded together in there, but weren’t best friends right off the bat. Our journey to where we are now was a process and I still remember the awkward first time “hanging out” when her she came with her mom to pick me up to go to the movies and our parents had to meet.

One of the greatest things about us is that we are opposites. I am the type that takes everything to heart whereas Sloth doesn’t give a flying pancake about anything. I am good with just passing, As and Bs would be nice, but as long as I graduate whereas Sloth strives to be the absolute best at whatever she does. I am incapable of participating in any physical activity whereas Sloth was a club volleyball star. Over time we just grew to accept each other as is and we have withstood so much with this attitude.

For a long time I went through friends like tissues. There with this running joke that my friend’s expired; they normally had a six month to year running time and then they would leave me or I would get tired of them. I am proud to say that Sloth surpassed her expiration date by a long shot (5 years and 7 months!). It also used to be bother me that none of my childhood friends ever stuck around, but now that I have Sloth, and a few others, none of that matters to me. Some of the best people come to you later in life.

Sadly, Sloth and I didn’t have the same spring break this year, but luckily we had one overlapping weekend. We took advantage and met up today for chitchat, lunch, and book shopping. At lunch, Sloth told me that her mom had asked what her plans were and when she told her that we would probably grab lunch and then sit on the couch and do nothing, her mom looked horrified (which is shocking seeing as this is what we always do). Her mom said we should go do something fun, but that is fun to us. In our opinion, the reason to have a best friend is so that we can don’t always have to have a plan, but instead just be lazy and do nothing or something spontaneous.

We excel at doing individual things together. Back in high school we were a part of the a bunch of the same clubs and organization. For DECA, we made it to state and international competition and I remember everyone out going on the town and Sloth and I (the grandmas that we were) were in bed by 9:30 and each reading a separate book. To us, that is fun! Not always having to impress each other or top our last adventure is the way to go.

Even though Sloth and I go to different universities two hours apart, I never feel like she is out of reach. Even though Sloth can’t respond to a text message promptly to save her life, I always know she’ll answer we I really need her. I have no doubt that we will be friends forever. As cliche as that is, I know that it is true. We just do what we want, when we want, how we want and we just don’t care what anyone has to say about it.

So shout-out to Sloth for being my bestest friend! I am so thankful for her!

❤ a girl