Aretha Said It Best

The norms in this world really sadden me. This whole “Netflix and chill” phase just makes me ache for older times when respect and patience was valued. I long for a time when guys came to the door to pick you up or asked for your father’s permission or actually had a date planned out. 

How I have been treated for the past month has really made me sick to my stomach. Remember the guy from the bus and how nice that date was? That was all that was nice about that. From the next day on he would only contact me late at night, ask me if I  was “down to cuddle”, and would ignore me for weeks at a time. I should have anticipated this when he was adamant about getting my snapchat the first day he met me, but I was trying to be open-minded.

A couple days into “talking” (although I would barely call it that), he asked me if I had the opportunity to kiss him, would I? Blatantly, I said no and he obnoxiously sent me a couple crying emojis which was quite weird, but I explained that I am not a physical person and that I don’t just go around kissing random people. Then I had to say no when he asked to come over in the middle of the night. He proceeded to ignore me for the weekend.

He texted me again really late at night literally asking if I wanted to come over, watch Netflix, and chill… I was completely taken aback and refused yet again. I made it very clear that I was not a Netflix and chill kind of girl, because I have values, morals, and respect for myself. He then didn’t contact me for the next week.

At this point I figured he would just leave me alone, but he kept on. On a random Sunday around midnight he snapchatted me a picture of nothing, but the temperature outside. I ignored it. Then I received another one with him claiming he couldn’t sleep. I responded with a picture of nothing and stating why do I care? He then told me that it was cuddling weather. I almost threw my phone across the room. Was this guy really that stupid. No means no. I ignored it, but he pressed on, sending me a message asking if I was down to cuddle. I actually cringed as I typed out no. He then asked me why as if I hadn’t explained three times previously that I was not into being physical in any way. I reiterated what I had already said three or so times. So he then said he was just going to sleep then. Classy.

I was really done dealing with him. He didn’t contact me for another week after that. I was relieved until the next Sunday I received another text from him. It was irritating; I just wanted to be left alone. I asked what he wanted and he wanted to know why I hated him…. ummmm we are not in elementary school!!! I said that I didn’t hate him and he wanted to know if there was still anything going on with us. I said no, because I do not like only being contacted when he wants a late night cuddling session. I felt that my opinions and feelings were not being acknowledged or respected. He then asked me “you wouldn’t wanna come over, have a good time, watch some Netflix, maybe cuddle if it leads to that with me? Just see where things go, relax, and just have a good time. Get to know each other.” DID HE NOT JUST READ WHAT I SAID? So we were back to where we started…

Needless to say this guy was really missing the point. He then asked again why I didn’t want to have fun and see what happens. Honestly, I don’t know why I kept responding; I just had hopes that at some point he would start to understand my point of view. I let him know that I didn’t get why he wasn’t willing to “have fun and see what happens” during the day while doing something. He then says “so would you be comfortable coming over and doing what I suggested earlier?” I said no, that being physical comes later once a relationship is established. (I know other girls might not have these same feelings, but I have made mine extremely clear.) He then asked why AGAIN and told me that I just needed to relax. I told him that I was done arguing, that he either respected me or he didn’t.

He didn’t contact me until yesterday. He wanted to do something, because he was bored. Jerk. I ignored him. Then another one came saying that he was sad we didn’t do something, but that I should text him the next day if I don’t hate him. Seriously. I ignored him. Then today I decided to just make it clear that I was done. I told him not to contact me anymore.

I just couldn’t believe this happened to me. He sought me out on the bus and I was flattered, but now I just feel targeted… I must have come across as a mousy, shy girl who always reads on the bus and that I needed a guy to give me attention. Wrong! I felt violated and uncomfortable towards the end when he wouldn’t leave me alone and accept my answers. He just asked the same thing like he never read what I previously stated. People like that are what anger me about our society.

Where is the respect? Is it really that hard to find a good guy out there?

❤ a girl