We met back in October. He was new to the small group I had just started attending. I was sad and depressed. He was sad and lonely. We didn’t think much of it.
Over the next few months, we gradually became friends. Discussion partners, group movie dates, ice skating, Star Wars conversations, holiday parties… it wasn’t on purpose, it wasn’t strategic, it just happened.
I remember one cold, frosty, rough night in January, I texted him asking if he was still awake. He was (because he never sleeps). I asked him if he knew any jokes. He did (because he thinks he is too funny). I asked him if he would tell me one. He did (and it was hilarious!). This became our thing. Whenever one was having a bad day, the other would know, because they would simply ask for a joke.
It was small things like this. I didn’t even notice it happening. But after awhile he just was my best friend. Nothing was too awkward. Nothing was too embarrassing. Nothing was too nerdy. Nothing was too quirky. We just let it all out little by little without even realizing.
Have you ever tripped and fallen on your face and realized it was exactly where you wanted to be the whole time?
That is me. Right now. I tripped and started falling. When I tried to catch myself, I failed and it just so happened to be the best thing to ever happen.
We are kind of dating. But since we are outwardly best friends, no one thinks anything of it. They have asked, but we always just laugh and confirm we are best buds (which we are). The truth is that I like him. I like laughing with him. I like talking with him. I like spending time with him. But I am so hesitant– not to let someone in –but to just be. So we haven’t told anyone.
I am scared, because once you get a “label” everyone else becomes so interested in your business. They question your decisions. They want every detail. They judge. They give their opinions. That has ruined previously good things in my life. So right now I want to just enjoy everything with my best friend and leave it at that. I feel like all will work out in due time.
But for right now… I am happy!