Born to be Alone

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lonely

Are some people born to be alone?

Are some people born to be single?

There are days when I can be surrounded by people, but feel so unnoticed. There are days when all I want to do is participate in activities that don’t require interaction with others. There are days when crowds and compliments push me so far over the edge.

There are days when I think that I was meant to be alone and there is nothing I can do about it.

I am an introvert, so being alone doesn’t necessarily bother me, but when I think about the future, I can’t help, but assume it is just going to be me.

I like to read, watch TV, think, knit, scrapbook… these are all things that most people do alone. I am adamant about adopting my children… maybe I am so passionate about adoption, because it doesn’t require having a significant other. I’ve never been one to obsess over my future wedding… possibly because I don’t think I’ll ever have one.

Lately I feel that there are so many signs that maybe I was just made to be alone and single my entire life. Sure, I have friends, but at some point they have to go home, get their own lives, have their own kids. Of course I will happy for them, but I wonder where the difference between them and me is.

I am always told that there is someone out there for me. That I need to be patient. That I need to be confident. But do they realize that I have been alive for twenty years and I have been on one date, had one guy say that I was cute, and have had no boyfriends. I can’t help but wonder why? Why am I not worth it?

Sometimes I get frustrated with the people who have what I want tell me what I need to do to make it happen. It’s not like I do anything wrong. I love myself (for the most part). I am confident (for the most part). I have standards. I don’t live under a rock. I put myself out there (for the most part). But ever since I can remember I was just never that girl and now I feel that maybe I am just meant to be content in being alone.

Could this be true? Is this a bad thing? Can I change it?

❤ a girl

13 thoughts on “Born to be Alone”

  1. No one is born to be alone. Our very nature compels us to seek companionship. Introverts usually just connect to fewer people. You’re obviously attractive, so maybe some people find you intimidating? Maybe there are people who like you but don’t know how to tell you? People are often afraid to say anything unless they’re sure that the feelings are mutual. I’m also an introvert and in high school I was the captain of the football and basketball team as well as the valedictorian AND the homecoming king. I was tall, attractive, and popular, and I still never dated anyone in high school. A lot of people liked me, but they didn’t have the confidence to tell me and visa versa. Really the best route to take is just to be honest with people if you’re interested in them. Put them on the spot. Ask them if they like you. It makes things MUCH easier.
    P.S. You’re cute. Now you’ve had TWO guys tell you that. Things are already getting better :b

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    • Thank you for the vote of confidence! 🙂
      I suppose you are right. As much as I like to tell myself that being alone isn’t the end of the world and I’m okay with it and all that, in the end I am still a hopeless romantic. I’ve been told the intimidation thing before, so maybe, just maybe, it could be a possibility.
      As great as just telling someone you like them sounds, IT IS SO DIFFICULT! There are so many fears and what ifs that go along with it. Definitely something for me to work on…….

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      • It is difficult to tell someone you like them. That’s why you ask them if they like you first. If they ask “why” just say something like “I kind of got that vibe, but I wasn’t sure so I figured I’d just ask instead of guessing.” That way you put them on the spot. If they say no they don’t like you than you can just play it off and it won’t be embarrassing. If they say yes than you can tell them it’s mutual. 🙂

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      • Interesting. I can just picture this exchange between me and someone else and it’s super awkward hahaha I guess this comes with not caring what others think and all that jazz.

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  2. Being alone is perfectly ok. We all do it and we all need it. Being and staying lonely only happens in people’s heads. Of course, someone who is lonely for a period of time will start doubting himself and inevitably come to the conclusion that he’s destined to be lonely. That’s the moment we have to stand up and to everything to not let that thought manifest itself in our heads. I can perfectly understand your situation. I have been in it myself very often. Actually, I am in the same situation now, in the stage of ‘What’s the use in trying?’. Anyway, you must not give up. You look and sound (from your writing) like a nice girl to me. So, keep and open heart and mind. It’ll be worth it. Wish you all the best.

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  4. Hmm.. You’ve raised very good points and questions here. As I was reading your blog, I noticed the number of times that you “like” being alone but wonder why you are alone, romantically speaking. Maybe your acceptance of being alone, and even your inclination to doing things alone, subconsciously make you act like you don’t want/need to be close to people and they pick up on that? Just a thought. 🙂

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    • Hmm… you’re right. I haven’t really thought about that before. I do like to do things alone, but only to a point. I think I have forced myself to be okay with being alone. I don’t want to subconsciously give off that message… how can I change that? Perhaps I want to be close to people, but I don’t know how to be…

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      • Hmm… I’m just shooting from the hip Lauren, but for me, one good way to “send the message” that you want to be close or to get to know a person is by sharing about yourself. I guess, if i feel that a person shares about herself, then i would feel that this person is opening herself to me thus letting me know that she wants a relationship that involves trust. Basically, if you trust someone, it lets him know that he can trust you as well. 🙂

        on the other side, another opinion is to ask about the person and responding appropriately. One of my pet peeves is when a person asks about me and talk about herself after I speak. It feels that the only reason why the person asked, is so that she may talk about herself and is not genuinely interested in me.

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      • Hmm… that is actually extremely helpful.
        The second one I can relate to just with my friends. I can’t stand it when they ask me how I am or how something went and then disregard what i say just to tell me how they feel about it.
        Thanks!

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